Hej! Så. Jag bestämde mig för att sätta detta en på svenska.
Um ....
Så, i alla fall. ConBravo! i juli ...
Jag är faktiskt lite nervös. Tidigare läste jag upp saker på det ... och mitt hjärta racing, och jag hade "fjärilar i magen" känsla ....
Förhoppningsvis ska gå bra, dock. Jag känner mig själv. Jag ska vara nervös första dagen, men efter att det i 20 minuter, jag lugna ner.
Jag är otålig. Hehehe!
Åh, och jag försöker att hålla sig till att säga, "Rädsla är bara spänning som behöver en attitydförändring." Så jag antar att jag är bara riktigt upphetsad. :P
Min vän Sidney kommer med mig. Det är bra. :D !!!
Antar att jag borde gå tröstar mig själv. Lol xD
Farväl!
~Matt
--Oh btw, has anybody gone to ConBravo before?
2012/05/08
2012/04/29
Anime Cons, Hetalia, Sex OxO
Well then.
I forgot I had a blogging page. I was updating information on deviantART and saw that under the website section, the link to my blogging page was there. So I was like, "Oh. Blog. Well shit... I forgot about that." and decided to update it!
Not like anyone reads this, though...
Um...
So. AnimeNorth is coming up next month, but I'm going because I don't want to go to a convention for just one day [Only single-day passes are available now] especially for my first con. I want to make it worthwhile. Also, my friend whom I once fell in love with and my ex-fiance are going there. For the entire weekend...
So I sadly had to turn my friend, Sidney, down on her offer for me to come with her.
However, ConBravo is coming up in July and FanExpo in August.
I'll be going to ConBravo :) "If I cooperate", my mother says. She means for me to stop being so moody all the time -Hey, I can't help it.- and to be some crazy-ass motherfucker who works all day at home instead of getting a break, like a teenager should. I'm always running around. What more does she want?
Carrying on, for my first convention, I won't be cosplaying. Unless I go as Daniel from Amnesia: The Dark Descent. I came up with my own cosplay for that... As in, I found multiple clothing items and put it all together. :)
I'm gonna need a shit load of money for that, too [a-con].
Oh! Lol, one of my best friends, Ilana, went to her first convention today and when she came back, I was in a slightly bad mood because of stuff my mother was telling me. -What else is new?- And she commented on a status of mine and said "Maybe you'll cheer up when I tell you what I bought you from the convention ;)"
I panicked. What on earth could my friend have boughten me from an anime convention? So I waited... And then... instant happiness. I could've died. I almost squealed! I had to supress from screaming and going completely insane all in one moment.
She bought me a Gilbird plushie! And a Germany keychain!!! Why so exciting? Because I fucking love Hetalia. Its my absolute favourite anime~!! And she knows that! And she spent, like.... $25 to buy just those two things. She knows how obsessed I am with Prussia, too.. So she tried to find a Prussia plushie, but they apparently sold out or something.
So hopefully when I go to my first con, I'll find Prussia-related things. And something for her, too!
Now. What else...
Oh! As you know -Well, maybe...- the National Hetalia Day is in October on the 24th. Some people prefer October 22nd, or even the 23rd, but the official day is October 24th. Soooo....
I am hosting a Hetalia Day meet-up / get-together for cosplaying at Gage Park here in Hamilton. I haven't planned the time yet... I have five and a half months to do that! Since it'll probably be pretty cool out that day, it shouldn't be a problem doing it at noon. Like, from around twelve o'clock to maybe.... three o'clock. :)
Events:
1) Best Cosplay Contest
2) Hetalia Couples Photoshoot
3) General Cosplaying
4) Dancing
5) Food & Drink
So. Um... I want to have prizes for the contest thing, but... Well, I'll have to think of something later. xD
So, yeah! If you want to come to it, contact me. I prefer you send me a note on deviantART. My username's ZackFairRules. Or, you can email me at luminescentdanger@gmail.com.
I'd love to have you all there! Anyone can come. My only request is that you are at least over thirteen or fourteen years old. I don't want immature people running around. Also, no harrassing each other, no fighting and do not destroy anything within the park. Its a beautiful place...
Off of that now.
Sex. Uh..... I really don't care for it -Am I the only guy who doesn't? Probably.- but.. my friend, whose also named Matt, who I actually don't know too much about but he's nice and quite cute... he wants me to come to a fucking forest with him so he can fuck me. I told him no. Let's hope he doesn't corner me if I show up at school and drag me out the do- fuck! Let's hope he doesn't find out where I'm doing my co-op placement! Because he wants to do it after co-op, and.... Oh shit. Yeah. He's like.... over six feet tall, by the way. So it'd be difficult to push him off of me. Either way, I'm not going to a damn forest with him.
:)
I'd like to keep my virginity, thanks. I mean, I'm hardly sixteen, don't push it. -_- And lol, he's like... nineteen.
I love people over eighteen. ;)
So yeah.
Just remember, guys, about that event I'm hosting for Hetalia Day in October :D
~Matt
I forgot I had a blogging page. I was updating information on deviantART and saw that under the website section, the link to my blogging page was there. So I was like, "Oh. Blog. Well shit... I forgot about that." and decided to update it!
Not like anyone reads this, though...
Um...
So. AnimeNorth is coming up next month, but I'm going because I don't want to go to a convention for just one day [Only single-day passes are available now] especially for my first con. I want to make it worthwhile. Also, my friend whom I once fell in love with and my ex-fiance are going there. For the entire weekend...
So I sadly had to turn my friend, Sidney, down on her offer for me to come with her.
However, ConBravo is coming up in July and FanExpo in August.
I'll be going to ConBravo :) "If I cooperate", my mother says. She means for me to stop being so moody all the time -Hey, I can't help it.- and to be some crazy-ass motherfucker who works all day at home instead of getting a break, like a teenager should. I'm always running around. What more does she want?
Carrying on, for my first convention, I won't be cosplaying. Unless I go as Daniel from Amnesia: The Dark Descent. I came up with my own cosplay for that... As in, I found multiple clothing items and put it all together. :)
I'm gonna need a shit load of money for that, too [a-con].
Oh! Lol, one of my best friends, Ilana, went to her first convention today and when she came back, I was in a slightly bad mood because of stuff my mother was telling me. -What else is new?- And she commented on a status of mine and said "Maybe you'll cheer up when I tell you what I bought you from the convention ;)"
I panicked. What on earth could my friend have boughten me from an anime convention? So I waited... And then... instant happiness. I could've died. I almost squealed! I had to supress from screaming and going completely insane all in one moment.
She bought me a Gilbird plushie! And a Germany keychain!!! Why so exciting? Because I fucking love Hetalia. Its my absolute favourite anime~!! And she knows that! And she spent, like.... $25 to buy just those two things. She knows how obsessed I am with Prussia, too.. So she tried to find a Prussia plushie, but they apparently sold out or something.
So hopefully when I go to my first con, I'll find Prussia-related things. And something for her, too!
Now. What else...
Oh! As you know -Well, maybe...- the National Hetalia Day is in October on the 24th. Some people prefer October 22nd, or even the 23rd, but the official day is October 24th. Soooo....
I am hosting a Hetalia Day meet-up / get-together for cosplaying at Gage Park here in Hamilton. I haven't planned the time yet... I have five and a half months to do that! Since it'll probably be pretty cool out that day, it shouldn't be a problem doing it at noon. Like, from around twelve o'clock to maybe.... three o'clock. :)
Events:
1) Best Cosplay Contest
2) Hetalia Couples Photoshoot
3) General Cosplaying
4) Dancing
5) Food & Drink
So. Um... I want to have prizes for the contest thing, but... Well, I'll have to think of something later. xD
So, yeah! If you want to come to it, contact me. I prefer you send me a note on deviantART. My username's ZackFairRules. Or, you can email me at luminescentdanger@gmail.com.
I'd love to have you all there! Anyone can come. My only request is that you are at least over thirteen or fourteen years old. I don't want immature people running around. Also, no harrassing each other, no fighting and do not destroy anything within the park. Its a beautiful place...
Off of that now.
Sex. Uh..... I really don't care for it -Am I the only guy who doesn't? Probably.- but.. my friend, whose also named Matt, who I actually don't know too much about but he's nice and quite cute... he wants me to come to a fucking forest with him so he can fuck me. I told him no. Let's hope he doesn't corner me if I show up at school and drag me out the do- fuck! Let's hope he doesn't find out where I'm doing my co-op placement! Because he wants to do it after co-op, and.... Oh shit. Yeah. He's like.... over six feet tall, by the way. So it'd be difficult to push him off of me. Either way, I'm not going to a damn forest with him.
:)
I'd like to keep my virginity, thanks. I mean, I'm hardly sixteen, don't push it. -_- And lol, he's like... nineteen.
I love people over eighteen. ;)
So yeah.
Just remember, guys, about that event I'm hosting for Hetalia Day in October :D
~Matt
2012/04/03
Moving Forwards [Transsexualism] and Back With Ex
Hello people!
New plan, I'm gonna try and update this every, say.... Friday or something.
So. What's new? Well, at my appointment yesterday, more updates on stuff with my doctor. She's gonna get a group meeting for an LGBTQ doctor, herself.... and my mom and I.
Ok, get this straight. My mother thinks I'm lying about being a transsexual, she thinks its a fake thing, and that its the devil causing it. Seriously, what the hell? This is why I hate Christians. If you're a Christian, well.. if I like you, I apologize.
Anyway, on May 7th, we're going to be coming up with transportation agencies to get me rides to St Catharines so I can get my testosterone shots every month / 2 - 4 weeks. :D
Woo!
Second. I'm back with my ex..... *cough* Or should I say, exes. Ex girlfriend and an ex boyfriend. >.> They both kinda know about the situation, though... so............
Yep.
Other than that, nothin' really.
Farewell!
New plan, I'm gonna try and update this every, say.... Friday or something.
So. What's new? Well, at my appointment yesterday, more updates on stuff with my doctor. She's gonna get a group meeting for an LGBTQ doctor, herself.... and my mom and I.
Ok, get this straight. My mother thinks I'm lying about being a transsexual, she thinks its a fake thing, and that its the devil causing it. Seriously, what the hell? This is why I hate Christians. If you're a Christian, well.. if I like you, I apologize.
Anyway, on May 7th, we're going to be coming up with transportation agencies to get me rides to St Catharines so I can get my testosterone shots every month / 2 - 4 weeks. :D
Woo!
Second. I'm back with my ex..... *cough* Or should I say, exes. Ex girlfriend and an ex boyfriend. >.> They both kinda know about the situation, though... so............
Yep.
Other than that, nothin' really.
Farewell!
2012/03/24
New Hair +Insanity
Good afternoon.
Good? Fuck that. Its not good at all.
New hair. Dyed it red two days ago [bright red] and got it cut yesterday. The... basic emo cut. The back is short and spiked ,the front, side bangs.
It looks cool... Too bad there's no reason to have it.
Second.. I'm going literally insane with this damned child. I don't fucking care if she's my halfsister. She never shuts the fuck up and it driving me mad. Legit. I'm about to start a riot somewhere because I need to take out my anger, and destroying my mother's stuff in her house is not needed.
I stop anger through violence. Hence, last night. I dented a solid wall [punched it]... I damaged my expensive violin because I threw it on the floor against a wall... I broke my mp3 player [the corner's scratched and cracked]....
And now I have a fucking suicidal mother. She just said "If I was stupid, I'd become a drinker again. Drink away my problems. Easy way to forget shit." She also said to my stupid stepfather on the phone, "Why? There's no fucking sense to anymore [living]. I hate my life."
She sounds like an emo teenager.
And she got mad at me for being depressed and cutting my wrist/arm and dressing in black and wearing eyeliner, etc, for 3+ years.
I've managed to overcome the depression on my own. But now she's diagnosed with depression, has wanted to kill herself for 2 years....... And she wonders why I'm pissed off...
Because I don't want to deal with a screaming-24/7-baby, being forced to do all the work here because my stupid 18y.o brother doesn't do shit... and I don't need to deal with her freaking out on me for nothing.
Its called- I have school -I'm quitting next year-, I have co-op every day.. I never get a break .Ever. Not even on weekends. I've got maybe an hour to do nothing before all the anger, yelling, arguing and work starts up again.
Great life!
Somebody fucking send me either to a mental hospital [there's a psycho one here! :D ... -_-] or to fucking foster homes or my dad's.
My mother won't even let me see my dad and says he's a dumbass, idiot, asshole, fucked-up-in-the-head, etc... she says "At least I don't have to bear the fucking last name of an idiot". Well... how about she thinks a little further. I'm still of that last name, he's still my dad... but she doesn't give a shit.
I am literally THE only one in my so-called family who still loves him and misses him, other than my eldest [21y.o] brother ,whose lived with him since he was 16.
My dad left when I was one, what do people expect? Sure, I'm still not 100% comfortable around him because I never really knew him. I never truly had a dad. I grew up with a strict-as-fuck mother and two older brothers who picked on me and harrassed me 24/7.
But she doesn't realize that. Because she's too into her fucking 4 month old bitch and the asshole she married for some reason. She expects us to like him? Like hell. Why would I like a bastardous man who destroyed my life?
I grew up with no father. That was hard enough. Now I'm a stressed-out-24/7 teenager. I thought my life might get better, but its only continued to get worse because that idiot came into my sorry life.
Excuse my ranting. She can't take it anymore? Take a look at your 15 year old transsexual son whom nobody supports or pays attention to. Everything's for the stupid kid and the asshole. And she wants me to live happily and get over my anger? Pretty fucking hard to do that if I hate my life because of whose in it.
Everything was better when I had my boyfriend/fiance. Its been over 3 months since we've been broken up --we broke up three times before then, too-- and we're dying to be back together .I just don't want to deal with the people around me.
...........Seriously. Send me away. Now.
Before I kill someone. Not myself... no, I got over that. But someone else. Like this child.
Goodbye.
Good? Fuck that. Its not good at all.
New hair. Dyed it red two days ago [bright red] and got it cut yesterday. The... basic emo cut. The back is short and spiked ,the front, side bangs.
It looks cool... Too bad there's no reason to have it.
Second.. I'm going literally insane with this damned child. I don't fucking care if she's my halfsister. She never shuts the fuck up and it driving me mad. Legit. I'm about to start a riot somewhere because I need to take out my anger, and destroying my mother's stuff in her house is not needed.
I stop anger through violence. Hence, last night. I dented a solid wall [punched it]... I damaged my expensive violin because I threw it on the floor against a wall... I broke my mp3 player [the corner's scratched and cracked]....
And now I have a fucking suicidal mother. She just said "If I was stupid, I'd become a drinker again. Drink away my problems. Easy way to forget shit." She also said to my stupid stepfather on the phone, "Why? There's no fucking sense to anymore [living]. I hate my life."
She sounds like an emo teenager.
And she got mad at me for being depressed and cutting my wrist/arm and dressing in black and wearing eyeliner, etc, for 3+ years.
I've managed to overcome the depression on my own. But now she's diagnosed with depression, has wanted to kill herself for 2 years....... And she wonders why I'm pissed off...
Because I don't want to deal with a screaming-24/7-baby, being forced to do all the work here because my stupid 18y.o brother doesn't do shit... and I don't need to deal with her freaking out on me for nothing.
Its called- I have school -I'm quitting next year-, I have co-op every day.. I never get a break .Ever. Not even on weekends. I've got maybe an hour to do nothing before all the anger, yelling, arguing and work starts up again.
Great life!
Somebody fucking send me either to a mental hospital [there's a psycho one here! :D ... -_-] or to fucking foster homes or my dad's.
My mother won't even let me see my dad and says he's a dumbass, idiot, asshole, fucked-up-in-the-head, etc... she says "At least I don't have to bear the fucking last name of an idiot". Well... how about she thinks a little further. I'm still of that last name, he's still my dad... but she doesn't give a shit.
I am literally THE only one in my so-called family who still loves him and misses him, other than my eldest [21y.o] brother ,whose lived with him since he was 16.
My dad left when I was one, what do people expect? Sure, I'm still not 100% comfortable around him because I never really knew him. I never truly had a dad. I grew up with a strict-as-fuck mother and two older brothers who picked on me and harrassed me 24/7.
But she doesn't realize that. Because she's too into her fucking 4 month old bitch and the asshole she married for some reason. She expects us to like him? Like hell. Why would I like a bastardous man who destroyed my life?
I grew up with no father. That was hard enough. Now I'm a stressed-out-24/7 teenager. I thought my life might get better, but its only continued to get worse because that idiot came into my sorry life.
Excuse my ranting. She can't take it anymore? Take a look at your 15 year old transsexual son whom nobody supports or pays attention to. Everything's for the stupid kid and the asshole. And she wants me to live happily and get over my anger? Pretty fucking hard to do that if I hate my life because of whose in it.
Everything was better when I had my boyfriend/fiance. Its been over 3 months since we've been broken up --we broke up three times before then, too-- and we're dying to be back together .I just don't want to deal with the people around me.
...........Seriously. Send me away. Now.
Before I kill someone. Not myself... no, I got over that. But someone else. Like this child.
Goodbye.
2012/03/15
New Blog - 1st Post + Information
Hello!
So, welcome to my new blog. :)
I previously owned the account [still do] at kiana7yaoi@gmail.com. I believe the blog was titled something similar to Matt's Thoughtz or Lumi's Thoughtz. It used to be Kiana's Thoughtz.
So if you knew me there, you now know me here. :)
I haven't blogged for quite awhile... Over 8 months, in fact [just a guess]. I'd like to get back into it, so hopefully this new account inspires me to do so.
If you don't know me [previously] and I'm a new blogger/person to you [I'm not a new blogger, though..] then keep reading! There's just some information and facts about me.
So let's get started, shall we?
So I'm a transsexual ftm [female-to-male]. I've always considered myself a tomboy until I discovered [around 8 months ago] that I'm not a tomboy, but a transsexual. A transsexua is someone who feels as though they have been born into the wrong gender's body. So in my case, I'm a guy but I was born into a girl's body. "Well, how bad is that?", right?
Trust me. Its bad. Bad as in- Annoying, obnoxious, frustrating and depressing. To know you're a guy whose stuck in a female's body is quite disruptive of my daily life and it affects me every day. The way I now dress and because my hair is short and actually, my body is changing naturally to a more masculine appearance, a lot people think I'm a guy, because I am one.
But those who know me before as a "girl", they still consider me one. Like my family members. And quite honestly, it hurts. It hurts to want and to need to be classified as a male, to be called my requested name [Matthew], to be looked upon as a young man..... but to still be called "she", "her" and my birth name [which I will not say. No, its not Kiana.] I've succesfully told a lot of people about myself being a transsexual and I'm completely comfortable with telling people. I don't care about what they think. This is kind of a tip to transsexuals who haven't come out. Don't let what other people think or say bother you. If you know what's going on with you and you're not afraid to speak it, then you shouldn't be afraid of what people's reactions are. I know, you're probably thinking, "What the fuck are you talking about, Matt? I'm scared as hell. Everybody's going to hate me! Its hard!"
Trust me. From experience, I know. Its really not as bad as it seems. I mean, come on. If your family is a true family, they'll love you no matter what. Yes, there are some cruel, cold-hearted parents who'll kick you out. But that's moreso if you're bisexual or gay. [That's another thing. I'm bisexual, by the way :) ]
I came out to my mom via email. That works, you know. Sure, she ignored me for a little while and was pissed off at me for months... but she said she had figured it out awhile before I even said it! She still claims to love me more than anything, still says I'm her "number one"... But when she gets into huge family arguments with me, she'll be like "I know you havent always felt like a guy" which is bullshit. But usually, she's generally understandable about it. However... she can't seem to be able to call me Matt -_-
Carrying on. Off of the transsexual deal. And the bisexuality thing, too.
Some more things about me are...... I'm bipolar. I get moody easily, and it lasts awhile. The only way to relieve anger, for me, is.... bad, but.. by stabbing things, or by throwing things or hitting things or breaking shit. Moreso the stabbing. Once.. I was so pissed off... That I cut my arm to say "HATE", I carved "I hate you" on my wall and one of my dressers, I put 7 holes in each of my blinds, I tore my comforter apart... I destroyed all the visible fruit in the kitchen, I dented the fridge, I cut a line into a wooden pantry cupboard, and... I tore a huge gash into the material shower curtain. :/
I haven't done anything that bad in awhile, but... you get my point. Don't. Piss. Me. Off..... Period.
However, I've bypassed my 3-year-severe-depression and I'm generally happy all the time now. :)
Though, these [approx.] 50 scars on my left arm/wrist still remind me of my sad days.... But it also reminds me of how strong I am. :D
What else... This is so damn long. I apologize. I'm a writer, so I write a lot whenever I start. I write stories and poems and if I'm reaalllly bored, scripts. Mainly stories. I have some on fanfiction.net and deviantart.com, but.. I have about 400 stories written [short stories or unfinished ones xD]
I love reading, I love... 3D animation. I actually use a free Japanese program called MikuMikuDance :)
90% of my stuff on dA is MMD stuff. Same with YouTube [ http://www.youtube.com/luminescentdanger/ and http://www.youtube./777kiana/] Go check it out :D
Hmmm... I love music. I NEED music everyday or I get upset. :P
I also play piano, acoustic guitar and violin. All entirely by ear. Covers via piano/guitar are on YouTube^
Hmmm.... I'm a Sagittarius, so I like to try new things 24/7 and.... I'm not bragging, infact... I'm kind of a little annoyed with the fact that I seem t obe "perfect" in literally everything. Now, that's all of my many friends saying that .They all claim I'm the most perfect boy in the world..... :/
But nobody's perfect. I still make mistakes. Everybody does!
So I guess that's all I can really say...... uh..... Oh. I'm a hardcore gamer :D
Some of the games I most often play are Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Condemned 2, StepMania, Portal 2, Fallout: New Vegas, L4D2, Call of Cthulhu and........... what was it- SKYRIM. :)
Now I guess I'm done. I RP, by the way. And do cosplay.
Wanna chat? Or just ask some more questions...? http://mattylovesyou69.chatango.com/ or http://luminescentdanger.chatango.com/ :D !!!
Farewell, people.
~Matt
So, welcome to my new blog. :)
I previously owned the account [still do] at kiana7yaoi@gmail.com. I believe the blog was titled something similar to Matt's Thoughtz or Lumi's Thoughtz. It used to be Kiana's Thoughtz.
So if you knew me there, you now know me here. :)
I haven't blogged for quite awhile... Over 8 months, in fact [just a guess]. I'd like to get back into it, so hopefully this new account inspires me to do so.
If you don't know me [previously] and I'm a new blogger/person to you [I'm not a new blogger, though..] then keep reading! There's just some information and facts about me.
So let's get started, shall we?
So I'm a transsexual ftm [female-to-male]. I've always considered myself a tomboy until I discovered [around 8 months ago] that I'm not a tomboy, but a transsexual. A transsexua is someone who feels as though they have been born into the wrong gender's body. So in my case, I'm a guy but I was born into a girl's body. "Well, how bad is that?", right?
Trust me. Its bad. Bad as in- Annoying, obnoxious, frustrating and depressing. To know you're a guy whose stuck in a female's body is quite disruptive of my daily life and it affects me every day. The way I now dress and because my hair is short and actually, my body is changing naturally to a more masculine appearance, a lot people think I'm a guy, because I am one.
But those who know me before as a "girl", they still consider me one. Like my family members. And quite honestly, it hurts. It hurts to want and to need to be classified as a male, to be called my requested name [Matthew], to be looked upon as a young man..... but to still be called "she", "her" and my birth name [which I will not say. No, its not Kiana.] I've succesfully told a lot of people about myself being a transsexual and I'm completely comfortable with telling people. I don't care about what they think. This is kind of a tip to transsexuals who haven't come out. Don't let what other people think or say bother you. If you know what's going on with you and you're not afraid to speak it, then you shouldn't be afraid of what people's reactions are. I know, you're probably thinking, "What the fuck are you talking about, Matt? I'm scared as hell. Everybody's going to hate me! Its hard!"
Trust me. From experience, I know. Its really not as bad as it seems. I mean, come on. If your family is a true family, they'll love you no matter what. Yes, there are some cruel, cold-hearted parents who'll kick you out. But that's moreso if you're bisexual or gay. [That's another thing. I'm bisexual, by the way :) ]
I came out to my mom via email. That works, you know. Sure, she ignored me for a little while and was pissed off at me for months... but she said she had figured it out awhile before I even said it! She still claims to love me more than anything, still says I'm her "number one"... But when she gets into huge family arguments with me, she'll be like "I know you havent always felt like a guy" which is bullshit. But usually, she's generally understandable about it. However... she can't seem to be able to call me Matt -_-
Carrying on. Off of the transsexual deal. And the bisexuality thing, too.
Some more things about me are...... I'm bipolar. I get moody easily, and it lasts awhile. The only way to relieve anger, for me, is.... bad, but.. by stabbing things, or by throwing things or hitting things or breaking shit. Moreso the stabbing. Once.. I was so pissed off... That I cut my arm to say "HATE", I carved "I hate you" on my wall and one of my dressers, I put 7 holes in each of my blinds, I tore my comforter apart... I destroyed all the visible fruit in the kitchen, I dented the fridge, I cut a line into a wooden pantry cupboard, and... I tore a huge gash into the material shower curtain. :/
I haven't done anything that bad in awhile, but... you get my point. Don't. Piss. Me. Off..... Period.
However, I've bypassed my 3-year-severe-depression and I'm generally happy all the time now. :)
Though, these [approx.] 50 scars on my left arm/wrist still remind me of my sad days.... But it also reminds me of how strong I am. :D
What else... This is so damn long. I apologize. I'm a writer, so I write a lot whenever I start. I write stories and poems and if I'm reaalllly bored, scripts. Mainly stories. I have some on fanfiction.net and deviantart.com, but.. I have about 400 stories written [short stories or unfinished ones xD]
I love reading, I love... 3D animation. I actually use a free Japanese program called MikuMikuDance :)
90% of my stuff on dA is MMD stuff. Same with YouTube [ http://www.youtube.com/luminescentdanger/ and http://www.youtube./777kiana/] Go check it out :D
Hmmm... I love music. I NEED music everyday or I get upset. :P
I also play piano, acoustic guitar and violin. All entirely by ear. Covers via piano/guitar are on YouTube^
Hmmm.... I'm a Sagittarius, so I like to try new things 24/7 and.... I'm not bragging, infact... I'm kind of a little annoyed with the fact that I seem t obe "perfect" in literally everything. Now, that's all of my many friends saying that .They all claim I'm the most perfect boy in the world..... :/
But nobody's perfect. I still make mistakes. Everybody does!
So I guess that's all I can really say...... uh..... Oh. I'm a hardcore gamer :D
Some of the games I most often play are Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Condemned 2, StepMania, Portal 2, Fallout: New Vegas, L4D2, Call of Cthulhu and........... what was it- SKYRIM. :)
Now I guess I'm done. I RP, by the way. And do cosplay.
Wanna chat? Or just ask some more questions...? http://mattylovesyou69.chatango.com/ or http://luminescentdanger.chatango.com/ :D !!!
Farewell, people.
~Matt
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